“An opportunity to be with grief in a very held setting.”
Held by grief tender Sophy Banks, “Tending to Our Grief for the World” is an online journey to a space of expressing and witnessing the feelings which arise in response to these times.
Whether you're impacted by injustice, violence, environmental destruction or harm, we invite you to take time to tend to what you are carrying, in the company of other caring people.
Taking time to build trust, we will invite our truth, and welcome the range of emotions that naturally arise when we witness injustice, violence and harm to any part of the living web of life. This can bring a sense of deeper connection to self, to others in the circle, and to our sense of aliveness and care for the world.
All feelings are welcome, rage and outrage, sorrow, fear, despair, paralysis, guilt, overwhelm, and what is not felt - the numbness or distancing that can occur when we don't have supported and shared spaces to feel.
We accept a maximum of 20 participants.
Sophy will be assisted by 1-2 assistant facilitators who support the group space.
Do you have a question or experience an issue with your purchase? We are happy to help. Contact us.
“Pain for the world is not only natural, it is a necessary component of our healing. As in all organisms, pain has a purpose: it is a warning signal, designed to trigger remedial action. It is not to be banished by injections of optimism or sermons on “positive thinking.” It is to be named and validated as a healthy, normal human response to the situation we find ourselves in. Faced and experienced, its power can be used. As the frozen defences of the psyche thaw, new energies and intelligence are released.”
Who is this for?
Anyone who is feeling grief of any kind for the wider systems of life, human and beyond, whether you have attended a space for grief before or not. If you are feeling close to overwhelm or very short of support and holding we recommend you put more support in place before attending. Plesae be in touch if you are not sure.
Practical Details
Date:
Friday, September 17, 2026, 3 - 7 pm BST (check your local timezone)
Tuesday, December 15, 2026, 3 - 7 pm GMT (check your local timezone)
Pricing:
The cost reflects the fact that the group will be facilitated by 2-3 grief tenders and is limited to 20 people maximum.
General Admission per session: £65,-
Concession £55,-
Supported fee for people on low income: £45
Frequently Asked Questions
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There are 3 main parts to a workshop:
Building the banks of the river: coming together as a group, noticing what nourishes us, creating safety through agreements, getting to know each other; sharing some information about grief tending together, what we mean by grief, and calling in support in many ways including through simple ceremony.
Stirring, expressing and witnessing grief: we use different practices such as writing or drawing and sharing; expressing in a “circle”; creating our own form, and more. This is the central focus of the workshop
Integration and preparing to return: giving attention to the body so our physical and nervous systems have time to integrate any shift or impact; soothing and calming through breath, sound and touch; orienting back to the support we will call on, and noticing anything we are taking from this back to our everyday lives.
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All feelings are welcome. Grief includes all painful feelings – fear, rage, guilt, shame, numbness, despair, disgust and more, as well as sorrow. These feelings are all a natural part of being human, and for many of us there are few outlets to really express what is true for us. For some the main experience may be of feeling nothing, perhaps that grief is a long way off. Staying with that feeling is also grief work, and is also welcome. And sometimes we cannot separate the arising of sorrow, love, joy, fear, courage, hope, despair. This helps us to see that these feelings are not separate, that our joy and love are intertwined with the grief of loss; our fear is the flip side of our courage, and our anger is often close to our passion for truth, justice and healthy boundaries.
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We ask that everyone comes for the full journey. All three stages are important – mainly for your own well being!
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We have now hosted several grief tending events on line, and found that even with the challenges of distance and technology we can create a profound, welcoming space enabling the release of grief, the balm of being witnessed and the healing of hearing others in their deep truth.
In each workshop we will create ceremony in our own space, coming together to call in support and finding the many ways we are connected even when we are not physically together.
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Grief tending in a group seems to have some powerful effects that for many who come feel natural, strengthening and relieving. Here are some of Sophy’s thoughts on why this is:
In a grief tending group we are both the banks of the river for each other and the one falling down into our vulnerability and honest pain. Unlike in a therapeutic relationship we are both the strength for others and the one in need of support. Bringing this mix to the places in us that feel broken can itself be restorative. None of us are only broken, only pain. We are also compassion, support, loving arms to hold and reach out to others.
In a culture where for many of us there are very few places to be honest about our painful feelings it can be very relieving and connecting to be with others willing to share their vulnerability. “I’m not the only one”. “I’ve felt there was something wrong with me because I feel so much”.
When we hear the pain of others expressed it touches other aspects of our own grief. This might feel overwhelming, but here we are also many people holding this together. We can feel that the different areas of grief we carry are being tended to without me having attend to it all myself.
I believe we evolved to feel and express pain as a way of bonding communities of people together. It helps us to see each other from our hearts when we are tangled in the irritations and stresses of daily life.
About the Facilitator
Sophy Banks has been working towards the transformation of systems of harm for many years, as a therapist, constellator, grief tender and radical footballer,. She has been leading Grief Tending spaces for over 10 years, drawing on the teachings of Sobonfu Somé, Joanna Macy, Maeve Gavin and many others. She was surprised during COVID to find that, working online, the practices could still be powerful and effective for releasing held grief.